Over the last few years, I’d gotten myself in a bit of a snag where I was, to use a business term, working on the business, not in the business.
I was booking myself solid. Between my day job and mural gigs, I was fully booked out. And for the work I did do, whether it was blog posts, newsletters, or anything for SMH, I had such a perfectionism about it that I sucked all the air out of the room. The magic of drawing disappeared.
So I stepped back. I gave myself permission to entertain the idea of not being an artist because I’d been so heavily defined by that identity for, well, my whole life.
What does Stephen look like when he’s not an artist?
I relaxed for about three months, and then I let drawing come back to me.
I think the spirit of it all was that whatever comes next, drawing needs to be front and center. There are so many possible directions to go, so many possible things to do. But drawing needs to be the main thing, whatever that thing ends up being.
So, with that being said, I set out to draw.
I’ve done observational studies for as long as I can remember, but it never felt quite right doing them digitally. Eventually, I started going to the diner and drawing some still lifes, as you’ve seen if you’ve been following the blog.
More recently, though, I let myself go wherever things were going to go. Last night, I ended up drawing a woman from a screensaver on my TV, along with whatever this crazy, buffet-greasy, drooling thing is. Let’s call him The Drooler.
The Drooler and the purple woman don’t have much meaning. They’re goofy. And honestly, I think I need a little more of that when I draw.
A little more time to have fun. A little more room to experiment and discover how to move my visuals forward without worrying so much about what everything is supposed to mean.
And I think that goes hand in hand with an apple study or a crystal study, like the ones you see here.
That’s the juice I’m starting to find in all of this.
Looking back at everything I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I think I was so fixated on rebranding, rebuilding the site, and putting out the newsletter that I lost sight of exploration.
Now, I’m spending about two days of my drawing week moving projects forward, and the other four days exploring. That might mean drawing a cartoon character, experimenting with my personal style, or doing an observational study.
Whatever it is, I’m letting my passion for drawing lead the way. And I’m curious to see where that takes me.
I’m also thinking a lot about writing, about putting things out into the world consistently, and about the mark I want to make. I’m thinking about how I want to showcase my art a little more intentionally than ever before.
But let’s save that discussion for another day.
Thank you for reading. As always, have a good one.
I love myself. I hope you do too.
